Now, the “I’m unhappy, I need a break” are words coming from my own mouth. We love a déjà vu, hypocritical moment. It feels almost unfair that I am saying this—I have fought for this relationship, loved deeply in this relationship, yet why is this unhappily happy feeling returning.
I had to let you go because you don’t need me anymore. Things are starting to change. You’re leaving. The physical distance is even more strain. You’ll be gone for too long. How long can I really wait? These decisions would be too much you and not enough of me. Loving you has been the greatest, most beautiful story I have. Every night that flood in my apartment from July of 2017 returns; I cannot help myself. Maybe I am this anchor that continues to drown us both into what ideally could be, but realistically is almost impossible. I struggle with the decision I made, but I am not sure what else I can do. My world is just so dull without you.
Me: I don’t like the new Taylor Swift album, I don’t like the new Taylor Swift album, I don’t lik —
*Lover by Taylor Swift plays*
Also me: Everyone, Lover by Taylor Swift is so good
Basically, I was inspired (yes, by the Taylor Swift album Lover *eyeroll*) to share some pieces I have written over the years in regards to various love interests and my love life because I just find how we react to ‘liking someone’ or the concept of love so interesting. Love is one of those emotions that is so complex, yet one we can all relate to so vividly. And I am still learning and have not been perfect by any means, but sharing and creating content on these experiences make us more aware, to say the least.
Here’s to being ‘overdramatic and true to my lover(s)’…
I’ve been contemplating the power of lying lately (weird, I know), but I find it interesting when people are caught in a lie and how they justify it or when you are the one lying and how you convince yourself it was the ‘right’ thing to do.
So, why do we lie? What are we lying for? We lie for ourselves, we lie for others and to protect them, we lie to forget, we lie to avoid those conversations that could induce some sort of conflict, we lie to hide—to hide behind something rather than being vulnerable, we all lie in interviews to make us look better 1000%; the list is endless.
And then, it begs the question, who are we lying to? We lie to everyone, no matter how much we love our partners, we lie (well hopefully not). We lie our friends, like when that cliché question of ‘Does this make me look fat?’ arises after you been shopping for outfits for 4 hours. We lie to goddamn strangers if we get a weird vibe from them in our initial meeting.
My mom and I always talk about “our people”; those select individuals that enter your life and take this journey we call life with you, without question or doubt. They are there for you no matter what—good (rarely), bad (sometimes), and ugly (almost always). They are those who allow you to love a little deeper, jump higher to goals you did not even know possible, and make you not just a better person, but make you who you are. This concept is extremely hard to find, as my mom and I also talk about how we are “givers” in our relationships and friendships.
Alright, so I haven’t posted in almost a year – but I have been busy with my MBA school work as well as swiping my credit card every Thursday during happy hour at Madrina’s, the best cocktail bar here in Gainesville.
Funny how when things aren’t “going great” in your life, you tend to selfishly only consider those things you have going on (or lack there of). However, March 14th, 2019 I firsthand saw a human being’s nature of selfishness shift to selflessness. Harper Jay Guerci did that. In the early mornings of that brisk Thursday, my brother and his wife Heather had their first child, Harper Jay Guerci. Of course, this is besides their pseudo first child, their cat named Leila. Also, to clarify, my brother did not have the child (as far as I know that is still not yet possible)—that part was all Heather, so let’s praise her and thank the power of epidurals.
1. One of my best friends, Dean, is moving to Arkansas in a month.
2. My entire Pharmacy School class will all be separating as rotations start in May, where everyone will be working across the state, country, world, (insert location here). Meanwhile, I am pursuing a dual degree as a hopeful business and healthcare professional. (Attempting)
3. Eagles won the Super Bowl for the first time and I, of course, am at school.
2017 is over in less than 30 days. Another year comes to a close. I have never really understood that concept of shutting the door on 2017 as if it is some textbook that you’ll never have to read again unless someone specifically asks what happened. AKA my pharmacy law textbook from this semester…just wait until by Pharmaceutical Law Licensure Exam and I dust off that book…I mean PDF. Millennials, am I right? It’s funny though, because as another year closes and you accomplish some goals, create new ones; there are some you seem to never accomplish. Everything I said I would do is now scrambled in this sea of confusion we call life. That page that seems to never change no matter the next chapter, book, year.
I think there comes a point in your life when everything you once "hated", you weirdly find yourself loving. I say that because I have been thinking about visiting home at the end of this summer and my siblings came to mind. I am the youngest child. Shoutout to all of you who are the youngest :)
Waiting for the: "Oh, you are the youngest. I can tell."
Before I was probably 18, being the youngest child sucked. Always the last to get to do something. Picked on to no end. Subconsciously comparing yourself to your older siblings. "OH MY GOD, are you Dan's brother? He is such a great kid." Oh, thanks. "You're Samantha's little brother, she was such an amazing student." Awesome, thank you. Legit the worst. Couldn't play with the big kids or go to the parties because you were too young. Always got yelled at for something you probably didn't do.
The bar was a quaint place. One of those places that had been handed down generation to generation. A place that was prime real estate for another shopping center or commercialized trendy coffee shop, but the owners always denied any offer. This place had character. New comers would think, "What the hell is this place?", smelling a bit like cigarettes and bad decisions; it had an enticing atmosphere that made new comers regulars and turned strangers into friends. A live band played usually on the weekends with a DJ off and on throughout lulls in the bands performance. Two bars lined the sides of the establishment with old records, sports memorabilia, and family pictures hanging on the wooden walls. The bar stools were wooden as well, some missing a leg or made an annoying squeak with each movement, cancelled out by the loud music. Specials usually included $2 jager, $3 whiskey shots, $3 domestics, $4 bartender's speciality.
First, welcome to the first post as I launch my newest writing website! I am beyond excited for this next step and hopefully all my blood, sweat, & mostly tears just trying to make this site is worth it. I have realized I am an idiot with technology as converting all of my material from my Wordpress legit gave me a headache. But here we are. I wanted to talk about the long heated controversial debate between if people say billiards or pool. I know this is an extremely hot topic for most of us in today's world. It all started with the game Clue I think. Colonel Mustard with the Candlestick in THE BILLIARD ROOM. Hm. I feel like people say billiards to be fancy.
After this graduation weekend, I realize that I am a hypocrite. I am definitely one of those people who says he hates apples on Monday, but on Tuesday is craving an apple. Honeycrisp specifically. I am not sure people think the odd example I just provided exist, but that is okay. Human beings are allowed to change our minds, even though it seems society makes it seem so wrong and horrible that we ever do that. Change our opinions, style, alcoholic drink of choice, hairstyle, etc. And so what if we change our minds? What does this mean?
The streetlights dimly illuminated the blackened icy road below almost as if interrogating each vehicle that entered its scope. The street that night was strangely quiet. Especially for a Friday. The only sound that seemed to echo were the particles of snow that filled the city's stomach as each hit its hungry ground. A man emerged from a local bar at the corner of the street only to puff his stress from work earlier that day. The music of a live band inside filled the air for a moment as the door opened and closed.
Grief seems to be this hovering shadow we forget to address. Like the voicemails on our answering machines. Unread emails, but we flag them so it seems as though we did read it. Or you do that thing in the scary movies where you pick up the phone but don't say anything. If I don't answer, it'll be forgotten about, right? The thing is is that a shadow is always with us. We carry it around; it is actually apart of our being. That shadow can have a definitive or almost unrecognizable shape, but it is there. And this is where I have begun to find some solace and a sense of comfort in just that.
Want to wish everyone a happy new year, first & foremost! I hope you all had a great holiday with your family & friends. I have been writing, but nothing publicly posted in a while. With the start of the new year, it only seems right. I was going to talk about what I learned in 2016...how much I grew...blah blah blah...boring, retrospective words. But, after already 1 day in 2017, let's start here. Start fresh. 5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Figured it would be appropriate of me to rejoin the world of writing on Hump Day of all days. My writer's block has seemed almost like a sickness to me. Doctor prescribed me an amoxicillin for 7 days without knowing any of my past medical history. (HA...funny pharmacy joke.) Clearly didn't work...The cure was from this article that is the inspiration of this current post: "We Are The Generation Who Doesn't Want Relationships." The truth is we are that.
It's time to begin another college semester. Sigh. Now I can only go out 3 times a week instead of the usual 6 during the summer. As the season changes & school starts (although it seems to only just get even more humid here in Gainesville...), our mindset seems to shift from rest & relaxation to anxiety & stress. (Unless you have been under stress all summer...then I'm sorry & read this post with a beer or maybe 2). But, after this first week of my 2nd year of graduate school, I realized how important it is to mentally prepare & center yourself, especially in a time like this.
Hello everyone, I promise I’m alive despite the lack of posts within the last month. I became wrapped up with a three-week pharmacy rotation in Fort Lauderdale & was staying at a friends’ place in Northern Miami. Both very new things for me. One: I have never really been anywhere in Florida besides Gainesville. Two: I have never worked in a pharmacy setting before. Safe to say I was nervous, but excited for the new opportunities & adventures to come. Ever realize how we subconsciously come up with preconceived ideas of how things will play out?
This post is one that I was inspired to write after working on a piece for the "Stronger than Stigma" blog about mental health, where I referenced puzzle pieces as a metaphor to describe how each person has a unique picture created from their own puzzle pieces. I have had the same friend group since I was a kid. These people know me better than I think I know myself. They are each a puzzle piece that have made me who I am today. I have learned so much from every single one of them & felt it was appropriate for you to understand how Jack Guerci became Jack Guerci.
After my last post on love & another post on mental health, I stepped away from writing for a moment. I felt weird. Almost too exposed. Vulnerable. (Ugh, I hate that word.) I don't like to seem weak or that I need anyone's help. I don't want people to see me in that way. It's funny how the posts were so well received & no one has said anything remotely negative, yet I feel this way. We are so complex. Our actions. Thoughts. Feelings. I was scared to share more personal stories; then I realized that those stories make me who I am. If I am writing a blog, how can anyone really understand the writing if I am not being Jack Guerci?
I looked up the definition of love because I wasn't exactly sure what others felt was an appropriate meaning for such a complex 4-letter word. First, it can describe the score in tennis (not what I was looking for...). Another said, "a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person" (Thank you Merriam Webster for the most generic interpretation.) Solution: Urban Dictionary. Love was described as, "giving someone the power to destroy you, & trusting them not to." This statement strongly resonated with me; I realized it is something so powerful that it is dangerous. It clouds judgement with its euphoric ability & seems to imbalance logic at times.
For those who don't know, I have a slight obsession with singing competition shows. (Don't hate. There are worse things, ok.) I religiously follow the Voice USA, UK, Australia, Britain's Got Talent, X Factor UK, X Factor Australia, etc. Maybe if pharmacy doesn't work out, I could just become a wannabe Simon Cowell. (Fun fact: He legit made half the artists in today's charts: One Direction, Zayn (sorry it didn't work out guys), Fifth Harmony, Ella Henderson, Olly Murs, Cher Lloyd, Leona Lewis...list is pretty extensive.) Although he did tell Tori Kelly she wasn't good when she auditioned for American Idol; now look where she's at.
Move over Netflix & Chill. It's Summer. No more chill. (Nah, we are still going to chill.) Time to turn up the heat though. Pair this heat with some binge watching. (Clever title to represent Netflix & Chill for summer) 2016 Summer: IMAX & Climax. (TV version of IMAX though). In between the hot parties, pool & beaches days, going out, traveling, summer job/classes, there is definitely some relaxing & down time. So let's steal a Netflix/Hulu/HBOGO account & make this summer even better with a new TV series to catch up on. But what to watch? You've come to the right place. (At least I hope....)
Title is appropriate because I am talking about my weekend, not the artist/singer The Weeknd ;). Clever, right?! I know, I know everyone. The song "Can't Feel My Face". Genius. Thursday. Yes, the weekend starts on Thursday here people. Decided to head to Philly to conquer what my friends & I call the "Unholy Trinity." 3 bars. Great drink specials. Music & dancing. Usually just crowded enough to be fun, but not that feeling of I can't move & my drink spills every time I turn my head.
Had to start my next post with a quick story about how time at home is going: Sitting in my kitchen eating my favorite cereal, Island Vanilla Kashi, with milk. (THE greatest cereal of all time, I literally walk around school with a box eating it. No shame. Highly recommend.) This is the first time I tried it with milk because it is so damn good I usually don't even need it
Currently sitting in a 2 by 4 airport terminal in Gainesville waiting for my flight home (it was delayed--hate to see that) to see my family, friends, & relax for a month in Jersey and trying to find some fresh inspiration at the end of a long, but rewarding semester at UF. After messing with @squarespace for an hour and a half, attempting to create a sleek, modern website, I realized that the premium site costs money that I currently do not have. Welcome to broke college student life. Instead, I have decided to continue my love for writing and passion for life on my own free website to post blogs on a variety of topics such as food, travels, music, health & wellness, & my personal life.